hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
