She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
