I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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