If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
