thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
