Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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