how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
