did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
