OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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