Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
