Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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