areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
