living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She's the barista slut.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
