It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
