After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize