thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
