i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
