i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
