I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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