Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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