Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
