dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
