You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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