He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
