the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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