I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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