i permit you to call me
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
