Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
