anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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