Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
