Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize