oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
