The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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