I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
