dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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