would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
