so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
