I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
