They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
