I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You can't just leave with hair like that
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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