normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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