so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
