Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
