And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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