I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
