She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
