She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
