I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize