whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
