You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
