Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
