dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
