In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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