I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
