I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
