doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize