i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
