I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
