maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
