Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
