The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
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