I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
